kryptonite.

when you say kryptonite first thing that hits your brain is the one that you encounter reading on a comic books. superhero character comes into the picture and since wiki is my bestfriend nowadays, i searched for it and uncover these superman terms yada yada. why am i writing something about kryptonite? well first, this would be total nonsense if it hasn't something to do with me. i was watching some reruns of Zooey's New Girl  and there was this one episode that sorta nailed my senses. she was kinda having hard time making a big step forward after that break up with pseudo ex-boyfriend, struggling in moving on because her character here is someone who is too nice, too good to be true, the usual happy go lucky type that always makes her feel good on simple things around her. she loves to mimic, making funny faces, and when she thinks all is fcuked up she mends in a weird way. she sings, she thinks of theme song of her emotional state, she even watch the famous flick "Dirty Dancing" all over again just because she gets the kind of gratification in mending the pain. ok going back, why really kryptonite??! well on that episode alone, i see myself on Zooey's character. it was only when Jake Johnson  (Nick) utter these lines that it finally dawned on me.


he refers 'kryptonite' as someone's weakness, depriving her to make the biggest step of all, THAT is getting M-A-D, letting it all out, fighting back. and that's all ME. back in my younger days, i was this short fused person who jumps over the fence when im provoked. i am like that. but as i grew older i've started to make sense on my initial reactions, say bye bye with flight and fight kind of response. i made my own anger management. i had maintained that kind of patience and sense of control. but with all of these, there's a big downside. since i tend to overcome the anger and keep it all to myself, there's a feeling of numbness in me. and that was bad. i tend to skip the emotional thing part and let it pass. i dont normally get mad in a snap. not me knowing it was all piling up. i was like a big pail of water waiting to be filled up and water will start to spill. water was my emotions. faucet was my source of all kinds of emotions.


i was like this in everyone. that's why every time my weakness is being hit, i get to vulnerable with it, i use weakness to cover up my emotions instead of dealing with them, and what do they do? some takes advantage of it, and some are scared. little did i know i need to fight back but it was too late. for last few weeks i had some cases of flaring up and outburst. i was like a spark plug, i got mad and i finally blew up! even i got scared of myself because it took years before i could actually express it. got provoked this time. got to the point wherein i have to say, enough is enough. and sadly, it happened to least of the people i expected to. but now that i have learned the difference of these flaws. dont give in too much and dont give less. its always good to stay in between because thats when you will see the different perspectives of being neutral. i am now starting to take control of the situation. its not bad to react sometimes. if you feel bad about something, express it. don't let it pass without venting it out because the more you do that, the more it get worse. in dealing with people, don't always expect that they will be there always as you what you have stand to do. sometimes expecting the same drill will make you fall real hard. end of the day, you will realize who are these people that is worth sticking by and we don't need kryptonites.